These days i am perplexed with a certain middle name riddle.Now dont get me wrong. Evidently i too have a middle name, and that too has a story dedicated to it.
Now my confusion comes as i watch this TV serial on Sony...Bade Acche Lagte Hain (BALH). I have been a fan of this one ever since it began. I thought it was realistic, mature, sensitive...unlike the usual saas-bahu crap...till the time i started to notice something that jarred me slowly..then it became selective perception. I have suddenly hearing it everywhere, all soaps, all channels.. its the riddle of the middle name of a married woman.
For eg, every married woman had three parts to her name, her name, her husband's name and then her husband's surname..
First came Priya Ram Kapoor, then now Ayesha Ram Kapoor...and the list is endless, cutting across many serials, different channels..and some of them of the same production house.
Now in this day and age, i am left wondering why.
These new age production houses have actually changed the way society views social issues by dealing with once-uncomfortable topics like widow remarriage, second marriages ( of women with children), illegitimacy, surrogacy, marital rape and many other oh-my-gods.
Women protagonists are shown as progressive, strong willed, educated and mature individuals.
Even in BALH, Priya is shown committed to her family to a point that she categorically states that she will continue to support her own family financially even after her marriage.
Still, she announces, many times, during the course of the serial that she is Priya Ram Kapoor.
I am told that in generations before, a lot of communities either changed the name of the girl after marriage, or added the husband's name.
Read....generations before !
To me, the reasons for doing the same today, would be broadly in these 3 categories :
1. Its a community/religious mandate : Now that one i am not arguing on, for not hurting
anyone's feelings.
2. Astrological/numerological reasons : Still strange !
3. Its cute, its love : Now this is the OMG reason. I mean ladies..as much as love and respect i have for the significant other in my life...this is bizzare. Why why why? In a modern world, where everyday we teach our kids about respect to diversity, equality and celebrate individuality, how does adding the husband's name to your name "prove" love and dedication?
Has one seen a single example of the reverse? Does any man do that for his wife?
I need someone to agrue out with me the merits ( emotional or social) of this practice.
Anyone up for debate on this topic...feel free to get in touch !
I need to get past this riddle !
