Dearest Manish...Happy 5...
Of a million moments of love and tenderness, of romance and rustic expressions, of hot fights and cold wars, of screaming and therefore crying and therefore more screaming, of remembering the non descript, and forgetting the simple anniversaries of WTF- this also exists?? Of making love and having sex, of thousands of text messages and some emails, of being the weekend couple owing to travelling/working the butt off for 5 days of the week, of earning yet never discussing the money, of spending lavishly and trying to save grandiosely, of the gifts we bought each other and the gifts that we keep thinking of buying, of liking and not liking each others friends and family, of still tolerating and giving Oscar-winning performances for the sake of each other for both categories, of trying to plan a child with better precision than NASA plans a shuttle take off, of not getting pregnant for a while and not admitting disappointment to each other, of finally getting pregnant and only crying and blabbering to express, of surprises and shocks, of having Ranbeer and being parents….
Why did I marry you Manish? I have asked myself this question a zillion time…times that we have fought like crazy and you have hurt me like no other..times that for no reason my heart is filled with a happy tingle when you are around…why did I marry you Manish…did I know it was love?
What is love? I was 18 years old when I met you. Back then, isn’t one more in the idea of love, than love actually? We met, we went our separate ways, we lost touch for so many years, we met again…did love happen then…or was it all along…
I ask my friends, how many girls do you know who fall in love for the first time, then feel it isn’t successful or worth it, go along the way, get into other relationships, meet again, and after 8 years of first falling in love, get married to the same guy who they lost their heart to for the very first time…
Was it love for you all these years that stayed with me…in my soul…in its kitchen, got the jam and pickle mixed, blended into the spices of my growing up from young girl at 18 to young woman at 26 ( the age that I got married)….did I know that we were going to be together…
Did i choose love, or did it choose me?
Was it destined, or was it willed?
I married because i wanted to live my life with you , or because i knew i couldnt live it without you?
I don’t know any other definition but I am aware of only one thing, and anyone who has ever loved, really truly deeply unconditionally loved, will know what I am saying…
This is the kind of love that is in your bones…it goes with you to your grave….you cant shake it off, cant forget it, its part of your soul curry…..
Whether we are together or not, or we are bound by our children, or whatever geographical and social boundaries that may occur between us….this kinda love happens only once…when you have given your self upto someone whole heartedly, body, mind, soul….where to the world you become someone, but to someone you are the entire world…
Its not about us living the happiest relationship, or the one with the right dollops of romance. We have a normal married couple’s up and downs…but I married you Manish, because I loved you, always have, ever since I have known what love is…
One day I will want to find out your reasons too , but for now, I am happy to confess, and happy to spend my life and share my child with one guy who has been above and beyond everyone else…thanks for these lovely years and looking forward to a lifetime with you…Shona, Happy 5th wedding anniversary !
