Piknic @ Kukreja farms

India celebrated her 62nd Repblic Day on 26th Jan...and we were at Kukreja Farms for a noon picnic. Chetan was celebrating the arrival of his 2nd son, Arsh, and had invited the college boys and their families. It was wonderful...the sun, the garden, the beers, kids going crazy. Full attendance from Manish's friends. I clicked one of the Kalras ( since it was the first sun-bathing opportunity for Shanaya), and then another pretty one of Amaera, Ashish-Shweta's daughter who is an absolute doll ! Ranbeer was a happy one with the slides, swings, mini tent and balls...

Thanks Chetan-Pooja..please have us over again !

Bani's welcome party

Did i tell ya that the Kumars have been visiting motherland. The proud grandparents of Bani Kumar had thrown a party at a Faridabad hotel for on 25th Jan. Mom, Sunny-Megha, Me and Hubz and chota Chowdhary (For a first, i made Ranbeer wear denim dungarees), all went. From the friends list Pali and Neha with Daksh turned up.

Bani is a doll...i feel more on her mother...the proud parents were hopping here and there attending guests.

I put Ranbeer in a bouncy for the first time, only to realise that he will be busy at all other parties with bouncys henceforth..watch him jump and squeal !

Weekend @ Rajouri !

23rd and 24rth Ranbeer and I went to Rajouri to be with Maa-Papa.It had been quite a while since I went to stay there.
Also, since the sun was out, I thought it would be good time for ranbeer to play in the sun and get familiar with the family. Binnie and Ahaan also came to stay, which added to the fun.
Rajni is going back to the Oz on Feb1, and all of us decided to say bye to her and her little doll Anya.
Ankur drove from Vasant Kunj with Myra, and we spent the Sunday afternoon at Rajni’s house in Pitampura.
Her house was filled with a cocophany of children noises much to the amusement of her parents.
Ankur’s awesome “imported shoes” were also the highlight of the visit.
Overall, Ranbeer obviously had a ball of a time. It was fun to see him interact with Ahaan, and then with other kids. I think I am finally getting there in terms of Ranbeer playing by himself, with Maa-papa, Binnie-Amit and Ahaan, and not missing me or sticking to me all the time…finally finally !

The day wrapped with with wishing Vishal Kapur his 35th birthday...went over to say hi to the Kapurs in the evening...what a lovely weekend that was !

Fio Country Kitchen and Bar

Manish and i had the anniversary dinner ( on 22nd) at FIO, Garden of Five Senses, Saidullajab.

A beautiful place, very very recommended, and best part is that they serve 2 cuisines, Mughlai and Italian ( best of both worlds, really). Set in a garden like environment, with candles and lanterns, its romantic and warm...

Had the best Fish Tikka Ajwani and Murg Chettinad in the longest time ever that i can remember...

It turned so foggy towards 11 Pm, that if we had stayed more, we probably could'nt see each other across the table !

Address: The Garden Of Five Senses, Saidulajab, Mehrauli, New Delhi

Phone No: +91-11-29536309

Monday soul-tickle

Sms at 10:38 AM...

" Have you wondered which hurts more...saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had ?"

Email at 11:18 AM

Wonder where my day is going?

Happy 5 !

Dearest Manish...Happy 5...

Of a million moments of love and tenderness, of romance and rustic expressions, of hot fights and cold wars, of screaming and therefore crying and therefore more screaming, of remembering the non descript, and forgetting the simple anniversaries of WTF- this also exists?? Of making love and having sex, of thousands of text messages and some emails, of being the weekend couple owing to travelling/working the butt off for 5 days of the week, of earning yet never discussing the money, of spending lavishly and trying to save grandiosely, of the gifts we bought each other and the gifts that we keep thinking of buying, of liking and not liking each others friends and family, of still tolerating and giving Oscar-winning performances for the sake of each other for both categories, of trying to plan a child with better precision than NASA plans a shuttle take off, of not getting pregnant for a while and not admitting disappointment to each other, of finally getting pregnant and only crying and blabbering to express, of surprises and shocks, of having Ranbeer and being parents….

Why did I marry you Manish? I have asked myself this question a zillion time…times that we have fought like crazy and you have hurt me like no other..times that for no reason my heart is filled with a happy tingle when you are around…why did I marry you Manish…did I know it was love?
What is love? I was 18 years old when I met you. Back then, isn’t one more in the idea of love, than love actually? We met, we went our separate ways, we lost touch for so many years, we met again…did love happen then…or was it all along…
I ask my friends, how many girls do you know who fall in love for the first time, then feel it isn’t successful or worth it, go along the way, get into other relationships, meet again, and after 8 years of first falling in love, get married to the same guy who they lost their heart to for the very first time…

Was it love for you all these years that stayed with me…in my soul…in its kitchen, got the jam and pickle mixed, blended into the spices of my growing up from young girl at 18 to young woman at 26 ( the age that I got married)….did I know that we were going to be together…

Did i choose love, or did it choose me?

Was it destined, or was it willed?

I married because i wanted to live my life with you , or because i knew i couldnt live it without you?

I don’t know any other definition but I am aware of only one thing, and anyone who has ever loved, really truly deeply unconditionally loved, will know what I am saying…
This is the kind of love that is in your bones…it goes with you to your grave….you cant shake it off, cant forget it, its part of your soul curry…..

Whether we are together or not, or we are bound by our children, or whatever geographical and social boundaries that may occur between us….this kinda love happens only once…when you have given your self upto someone whole heartedly, body, mind, soul….where to the world you become someone, but to someone you are the entire world…

Its not about us living the happiest relationship, or the one with the right dollops of romance. We have a normal married couple’s up and downs…but I married you Manish, because I loved you, always have, ever since I have known what love is…

One day I will want to find out your reasons too , but for now, I am happy to confess, and happy to spend my life and share my child with one guy who has been above and beyond everyone else…thanks for these lovely years and looking forward to a lifetime with you…Shona, Happy 5th wedding anniversary !

Going back to the birth of my son

On 3rd Nov 2008, I reached Max hospital at around 8:30….no words can describe how I was feeling, happy, nervous, spaced out…I mean like how how how on earth do you prepare yourself to give birth to YOUR child, another life…and change your own life forever…
At Max they prepare me for the C-Sec. As I get on to the strethcher for going in to the operation theatre, I am hit by crazy emotions. I start to cry much to the amusement of everyone, my parents, Manish’s parents….no one understands…Rupali’s words ring in my ear..” Shipra, I hope not, but if you do have a C-sec and when they are taking you in the operation theatre, that will be one of the most lonely moments of your life…you will just wish if someone, especially Manish was able to go in with you…you will feel so lost, so alone…” and boy, those words came so true.

Manish and maa accompany me right till the door of the surgery room…and then I assume, they wait outside…
Veena Bhat comes checking on me…how you doin” ( god, she could do a better imitation of Joey in Friends) I say I am nervous…she says that thinking that she herself had twins should make me feel better ( what a consolation)

I am on the table, Dr PN Kakkar gives me spinal anesthesia, and I suddenly go dead waist down…the screens are up, lights are switched on..and here I go…

I cannot remember what I was thinking during those 25-30 minutes…or was I thinking at all…the only sounds I remember were that of some ugly looking digital machines going beep-beep, grr-grr---some junior doctors handing out equipments, Veena Bhat’s instructions….and then suddenly…Congrats Shipra, you have a baby boy !

Wooooooooops….my head goes thud on the table…in relief and joy….Manish would be ecstatic!!!! I hear his cry…the sweetest sound on earth….I am a mommy now…now and forever….
Kakkar asked me if I would like to break the news to Manish on my own……sure I said….i have thought about this scene in my head a hundred times ( very filmy)…but when I hear Manish’s voice on the other side of the phone, I just forget everything…

Shipra : Manish….
Manish….ya…
Shipra…its me….
Manish…hun hun….Shipra…kahan se bol rahi ho?

Oh hell…how stupid…..tumhare saamne Operation theatre mein katne patne gayi hoon…kahan se bol rahi hoongi….kya park mein sair karne jaaongi…. ( In my mind)
Shipra….he’s here ( choking)….i think he looks like you…
Manish…what what…he..he..its a boy…wow…thanks…CLICK ( this dude hung up on me saying thanks ***%%%%)

Manish captured this when my son came out to meet his father ( who had so completely lost it i tell you)

Shipra Bhalla Chowdhary...Poora Naam !

On 8th July 2008, I got married to the same guy I married on Jan 21, 2005…only now that its “official” and recognized by the Govt of India, and anyone else who cares,
Manish and I registered our marriage. I know for time enough that this is an important document, one of those irritating ones that you spend far greater amount of time obtaining proofs/documents etc, than the time it takes to actually do the act. The husband would never move a whisker on such trivial, secretarial “collection of documents”. So it was left to poor me for get the photocopies and the now-virtually-extinct gazetted officer to certify….
The hard work paid off, and 8th July I became Shipra Bhalla Chowdhary, poora naam !

Love this line from one of my all time favorite AB movies, Agneepath…Vijay Dinanath Chauhan, poora naam.

I insist on SBC as my full formal name. I have been Shipra Bhalla for 26 years of my life, and have been a proud one. I am equally proud on being a Chowdhary. Except that I would still like to maintain my maiden name as my middle name. Its fashionable, and sentimental and importantly is the total ME.
It has been part of my identity, and even professionally it makes lot of sense. Manish doesn’t quite get it. I am not sure if he gets offended, or its just plain MCP. In any case, he doesn’t stop me from doing this which is fine, and convenient. My children would never be a Bhalla, they would always be Chowdhary, which is what I would want them to be anyway.
Its just me…from birth to grave, I want all of me to be me. It reminds me of my roots, the love and sacrifice of my parents for me, for the complete individual that I was when I was growing from little girl to woman. It was me before the politics of professional life, and trials and triumphs of marital life did their bit to change my personality, evolve my thinking and guarded my steps.
Shipra Bhalla grew into Shipra Chowdhary….happily….well done….Bhalla was somewhere in the middle…and that’s where I am keeping it.
Its not some feminist, bra-burning exercise. Its just important for me to keep remembering what I am made of.

SBC, I am fondly called in office….Shipra Bhalla Chowdhary…poora naam.